Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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