You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
