So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
