GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
