ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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