so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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