I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
