I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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