his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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