New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Oh god it's open bar.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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