i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
