Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
