i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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