My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
