Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
