Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
