either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Randomize
