That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
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I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
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Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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