roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
this hospital has no fireball
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize