This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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