u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
