apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
