who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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