I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
