so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
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he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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