Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
