My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
