Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
We named our party play list daddy issues
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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