On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
