I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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