He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
