I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
