There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
