That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
