How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
