Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
