Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
