He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
