on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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