My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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