do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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