WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
