So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
