u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
