Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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