Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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