Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
