dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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