Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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