I murdered the dance floor call the cops
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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