Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
