He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
