if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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