How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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