If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
