if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize