singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
