So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
