At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
