Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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